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About Photography / Hobbyist MariannaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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infatuation (noun):
an eleven letter word
that wraps itself around my neck
making it so difficult to breathe yet somehow so unnoticeable
until it releases me from its grasp
and i am left only aching

infatuation (verb):
five syllables
checking my phone constantly waiting for the glow of new messages
and crumbling to the floor
every time you speak,
growing tired and sweaty
and being inseparable

infatuation (adjective):
synonymous with captivating, fascinating
antonymous with despising, disenchanted
it’s feeling every cliche in the book:
on top of the world
like nothing else matters
what always makes you happy
carefree
exaltation
joy

but it is fleeting.
you say
           you can never tell what i’m thinking
you say
            you can’t read me
you say
            i’m impossible to figure out
you say
            a lot of things

my eyes are a leather-bound book
locked
and the key is stowed in my throat
never to be retrieved

my face is not my own -
able to be opened
like a wooden door
to reveal the true face
but how many times a century is anyone allowed to open it?

my body is encased in silver spikes
do not try to
get near
touch it
unless you wish to bleed
it is often locked together tightly
to avoid such misunderstandings
yet there are those that still try

my eyes are vacant
pure black orbs
no intake
no output

you once told me
they were so dark
it was like getting lost in a black hole
and i wasn’t letting up
(i refuse to let you go)
and you couldn’t escape
(not that you wanted to)
but you saw the light that is within the darkness

things don’t have to be
bright
white
light
to be beautiful and welcoming

they can be
deep
dark
black
to be soothing and entrancing
let him creep over me
an old friend i haven’t seen in so long
he used to make it difficult to get through the day
but i didn’t know any other way to
he would disappear in the evenings
even as i was begging for him to never leave me
because, at least if he stayed
he made it easier to rest

he had become such a comfort to me
i didn’t remember what it was like without him
in my days of disillusionment
he was always there
a strange relief

the disassociating increases when he’s around
but he doesn’t mind
because he’ll always wrap me up in his arms
and i’ll make myself fit again

the mold is often difficult:
ragged edges
sharp
cumbersome, even
but when in slumber
and scenes of intense nonsense are playing
i am reminded of how it used to be

maybe it’s for the best
we stay apart

deviantID

SmootHope
Marianna
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
United States
I'm 21 and a law student. I take pictures, edit, and draw for fun. I spend most of my time relaxing, listening to music, playing video games, and reading up on social issues and theories.
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:iconschieben:
Schieben Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
Hope you have a good one! :) (Smile)
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:iconflittingwishes:
flittingwishes Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birthday :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconschieben:
Schieben Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Hope you have a good one! :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconschieben:
Schieben Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Hope you have a good one! :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconsarahilyx:
sarahilyx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011  Student Photographer
thanks for the :+fav: love (:
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(1 Reply)
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